So after my first two posts I kinda wondered…what if people think I am just all talk? It helps if you know your teacher has practiced what he preached right? So here is a little story about me and how in two years I have almost dissolved fear of performing in public.
So in calderdale we have a Shakespeare Festival for Kids. I.E/ age 11-16.Being sixteen, this was my last Chance to enter. Bummer but none the less…
I have only entered twice. Once when I was 13, and last Friday night. The school picks a play and a group of Kids set up this play however they wish….well…When I was 13 our school did Hamlet. I was the Incestuous Uncle Claudius. It was terrifying. But I got through without a slip up, I was scared though. Very scared, I forgot my lines once or twice but luckily I compensated enough so it looked good…I think. But what I am pointing out is my fear. My horrific, brain gnawing, mind numbing, vomity, fear that grips you when you think about all them mistakes you could make in front of everyone.
This time we did the tempest. I was Gonzalo, a relatively big part, but not that big. Well I learned my lines, and practiced, and rehearsed etc…And I felt only the slightest bit of fear. Even when I made a mistake I compensated and it went brilliantly. We all had some much fun and we all went home feeling like we had accomplished something good.
It was only afterwards that I noticed my total lack of fear. I saw the fear in some of the younger ones and I remember back to my Hamlet play…The fear seemed ridiculous…what was there to be afraid of?
Then I remember that between my Hamlet play, and the Tempest play, I had discovered Personal Development. And this is how I abolished fear. I didn’t imagine everything that could wrong. In honesty I didn’t think. I just focused on the moment. Everything was secondary at that time. Everything! I was purely in the moment. So pre-performance I rallied the younger ones, reminded them what to do, made sure everyone was ok…had a good laugh, cheered people up who may have been feeling the fear and off we went. We where first on so it was cool. No fear came to me. I didn’t get a nervous stomach ache. I didn’t feel sick or get confuzzled and bambouselled. I just delivered my lines with eloquence and Poise.
No ok so I maybe going off the mark here a little. But I am just trying to help you understand. I am just as normal as you. I get fears and worries. But the difference is…I kick their butts and laugh in their faces. I don’t sit around imagining everything that could go wrong. I imagine afterwards. All the praise. All the joy of being amazing. I imagine the praise from my peers. And how I return the praise.
That’s the difference. That’s the key.
Until Next time when I will be more about Subjective Reality
